Mess I Made
by Izzie Jackson
Summary: 'Congrats, Quinn. You ruined what relationship we could have had before it even started.'


Mess I Made

'Congrats, Quinn. You ruined what relationship we could have had before it even started.'

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**Quinn**

I couldn't erase the smile that was on my face as I walked down the halls to find who I was looking for. I ran a nervous hand through my straight blonde hair and my heartbeat skyrocketed as I spotted who I was looking for. Face in their locker, the object of my affection was dressed in a black hoodie with pink in lining and a heart-shaped hand grenade with a hand holding it. I guess they were back in their Green Day phase. It was cute and nerdy. Kind of like Sam had been. My eyes trailed down to the black skinny jeans that looked like they were painted on those long legs and the black and red converses.

I took a deep breath and walked up them, clearing my throat. "Hey Bella."

Smoky gray eyes bore into mine and my heart stopped before I continued, "So, are you ready for the concert on Friday night?" I smiled towards her. Her face was calm and she sighed before closing her locker. The impact was just a bit more forceful than I would have liked but she just turned to me with a look.

"Yes I am," she answered and placed her hand on my cheek, rubbing it with her thumb before she pulled away, as if regretting what she was about to say. "But you're not going with me."

"What?" I whispered, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You aren't going with me Quinn. Not after what you did."

"What did I do?" I asked. She turned and began to walk away but I grabbed her hand and dragged her into an empty classroom. She glared at me and I felt the tears build in my eyes but I took a deep breath and asked again, "What did I do to hurt you?"

"You didn't do anything to hurt me, Quinn. You hurt everyone else!" I was taken back when she raised her voice at me. "You hurt Finn last year when you slept with Noah and hurt him after you refused to let him be acknowledged as the father. You hurt yourself by giving up your own child. You dragged Sam along, you hurt countless people just to get what you wanted. How could you do that?"

"I'm sorry if I was like that. But I was never like that with you." I retorted, my voice raising. She shook her hair, her brown hair moving as she did.

"Oh yes," she laughed bitterly, "what am I to you, Quinn? A friend? A puppet? Someone you can pity because they refuse to accept who they are?"

Her words hit me deep. And I began to think. What was Bella Swan to me? What did she do for me? She made me laugh, she made me smile more. My mind flashed back to the kiss we almost shared the night we got wasted at her house thanks to Santana. I remember how she came to me when she told me she was struggling with her sudden interest in girls. I remember how she came to me when she told me her dad had a heart attack and how she was scared. She had come to me when her nightmares got worse.

She always came to me and yet at times, I just ignored her. I cared more about my popularity than the beautifully broken angel in front of me. The siren that had captured my heart, my attention, my everything.

"Quinn," I looked up and saw her face just inches away from mine. Her eyes were on my lips, "Please," she let it hang as her lips brushed timidly against mine. Just for a second, I let her kiss me. I let the fireworks run through my system, let my heart go into overdrive. Than I pulled away from her lips, shaking my head. I couldn't do this. I just couldn't. My parents had kicked me out once already, after proclaiming I was pregnant. I was not about to be disowned for my infatuation with Noah Puckerman's cousin.

"You were just someone I could pity," I lied. Her eyes narrowed and she shook her head before her fist slammed into the wall, causing me to jump slightly. She looked so hurt, I wanted to cry. But I refused to let her see the crack in my mask. "As if I would ever want to be an actually friend to a sexually confused freak."

God it hurt to say those words.

She sighed and took something out something. The bracelet I gave her. She dumped it in my hand and turned. "Congrats, Quinn. You've ruined whatever relationship we could of have before it started."

Then she walked out the door. A week later, I saw her talking to Sam. They were laughing and as they passed me, I could hear their conversation was in something, that Navi language I think. As I watched them leave, my heart shattered when they shared a tender, loving kiss.

After glee practice, I asked Mr. Shue if I could use the auditorium. I sighed, shutting my eyes.

"_Should have kissed you there. I should have held your face. I should have watched those eyes instead of run in place. I should have called you out. I should have said your name. I should have turned around. I should have looked again. But oh, I'm starin at the mess I made. I'm starin at the mess I made. I'm starin at the mess I made as you turn, you take your heart and walk away."_

They were walking down the hall with Mercedes, Bella talking about the American Idiot musical she roped Sam, Blaine and Kurt into seeing with her in July and seeing the diva wanted to go. She proclaimed yes and the three laughed. As they passed me, her eyes looked at me with slight longing but disgust overpowered it. At night I cried myself to sleep as memories of the only good thing I actually haunted me.

_"I'm starin at the mess I made as you turn, you take your heart and walk away."_


End file.
